Monday, September 17, 2007

Marriage....is what brings us together, today.



Marriage is an issue, which in recent years has become the most talked about issue related to the queer community. It is an issue, which decided a presidential election, and one which has divided a community. It’s a complicated issue, too often simplified by the media and by our own community. It’s an issue, which is highly emotional to people within the community and also within larger straight culture. Because of the emotional nature of this issue, it can be difficult to talk about. It can be particularly difficult to critique or debate in a productive, and respectful way. This is an issue close to the heart for many, and people on all sides tend to believe that they are fighting for their family’s wellbeing and protection. “ I Do, I Don’t: Queer’s on Marriage, edited by Greg Wharton and Ian Philips was released by Suspect Thoughts Press. The book was honored with a 2004 Lambda Literary Award for best Nonfiction Anthology. This is the first book I have found which tackles this issue in a respectful, thoughtful way which is validating for those who are against the institution, those who are fighting desperately to be included in it, and those who aren’t sure how they feel about it.

“I Do, I Don’t” is an excellent look at the diversity of ways marriage is understood within the LGBTQ community, and the range of arguments for and against the institution. This is a book that complicates assumptions, that breaks down oppression, and talks openly from the heart about queer families, queer relationships and what they need. I would recommend this book to anyone at all interested in looking further into this divisive issue. Too often it is simplified in order to fit into a neat box either pro or against, but not here. In true queer fashion this book explodes expectations, and breaks down binary boxes of “good” or “bad” in favor of showcasing all sides of the issue, and exploring the ways the issue is complicated by the differing lived experiences of community members.

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