exploring is fun, fine, and a healthy part of growing up, so long as you settle down in the end?

Mango Kiss is an interesting indy film, which very queerly deals with a variety of frequently taboo, issues like leather, polyamory, and butch/femme relationship dynamics. Although at points it skirts the edge of decinegrating into a less than lucid art film, it’s saved by wildly captivating, and believable characters. The film also features a along with a believable storyline which many queer viewers particularly those with dyke histories will appreciate. Although I have a few critiques of the film, it remains high on my list of favorites, and stands alone in its unique portrayal of sexual difference within dyke communities.

The film follows the lives of two best friends Lou and Sassafras as they move together to San Francisco, and begin to develop a relationship with one another, as well as some of the interesting people they meet in the big city. One of the most interesting things is the way in which the film actively portrays poly families, and echoes the well-known advice of that these sorts of dynamics only work with “brutal honesty.” It is rare for poly relationships to be showcased in any sort of film, outside of perhaps showing polygamous Mormons in Utah. Furthermore showing polyamory in a dykc community is a breath of fresh air from the domesticated wife and mother roles lesbians are most frequently scripted as belonging to. This is a film which shows woman as not only highly sexual, but also sexually positive, adventurous and empowered.

In terms of portrayal of sexually empowered female-bodied queer folk, this film is truly ground breaking. It portrays large numbers of people exploring and experimenting with all sorts of sexual practices, particularly BDSM. Far from another weak portrayal of mild s/m “Mango Kiss” delves into the diversity of the leather community, and specifically the diversity of the leather dyke community showing everything from puppy play between Lou and her mistress, to the age play role-playing between Princess Sassy and her Captain Daddy Lou. The characters are shown negotiating scenes and consent, as well as establishing safe words, something rarely seen when any sort of BDSM is featured within a film.

One major criticism I have of the film is the way in which butch/femme couples and dynamics are portrayed. Although Lou and Sassy are constructed as a couple read as butch/femme and attempting to understand what that means to them- including making performance art about it, that aspect of their dynamic an relationship isn’t referenced in the same way that it is for their neighbors Val and Leslie. This couple is portrayed with nearly every stereotype of a 1950’s nuclear family, and is portrayed as highly old fashioned. The couple is vanilla, monogamous, and rather than celebrated as a different type of relationship they are mocked, and ridiculed through their highly characterized portrayal which only serves to further marginalize butch/femme couples within our present culture. By making them look like relics of the past a clear message is being sent to viewers about how butch/femme can be sexy roles to play with but the essence of that sort of relationship and any desire to fully embrace it is laughable, old fashioned, and utterly non hip.

My other primary critique of the film was the way in which by the end the main characters Lou and Sassy had reached the conclusion that they in fact could not be poly, and that they couldn’t live in a 24/7 BDSM dynamic. While I fully agree that the vast majority of couples first of all lack the ability and second of all have no interest in having either let alone both of those identities connected to their relationship, it seems counterintuitive for such a sexually progressive film to show yet another couple choosing against that. The message coming through seems then to be, that exploring is fun, fine, and a healthy part of growing up, so long as you settle down in the end.

The trailer for “Mango Kiss” can be viewed here: